You Guys Already Know
by Ryuuen Chou
Summary: Letters to the seishi from one already gone. (shounen-ai, ep. 33 SPOILERS)
1. The Gang

You Guys Already Know...  
By Ryuuen  
  
Warning: Spoilers, severe tear-jerker  
A/N: A Nuriko death-fic to end all Nuriko death-fics.. well not really. It's kinda a series of letters to the gang from Nuriko that he wrote the day before.. well, you know what happened.. This first one is to all of them, the future ones will be to specific people.  
  
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You guys already know... all about it, don't you?  
I knew that it was coming, you know. Did you guess? I had a dream about this thing that has happened. I didn't tell anybody.. not even you, Tasuki.. I knew that you'd freak.. try to protect me. It's not that I wouldn't appreciate it, but honestly.. it just isn't worth it to try and avoid fate. I don't want to die, but since when do you get a choice in the matter, eh?  
Okay, I am determined to keep good humor while I write this. I will NOT cry. I won't.  
Shit, I am... I am crying.  
Now my writing's gonna be smudged..  
Yeah, I know, Tasuki.. you don't care about that.. I'm such a baka, aren't I? I'm going to die soon and all I can worry about is if my tears stain this note. I'm such a fool..  
  
I guess.. I am scared, aren't I? I'm afraid of death, I don't want to.. I don't want to die, not now. I suppose that it's okay, but.. but it isn't something that I want. I've found my peace, my happiness, with you guys.. I should have known it would end soon. For the first time in Suzaku-only-knows-how-many years, I'm at peace, I'm... happy..  
  
By the time you find these notes I've written, it will be too late. But that's okay. I guess it's okay. I think some of you might cry, but that's okay too.. just let go of your feelings, you know? I know, I know, I should take my own advice, but I never listen to anyone, let alone myself, now do I?  
  
It's sunset now.. the sky is so nice, kind of a light-denim color, with pink streaks just above the trees and no clouds at all.. this is nice, kind of peaceful. It's so beautiful, I wonder if Suzaku is telling me to be at peace.. or something, anyway.  
  
I guess.. I should wrap this up.. I'm so damn depressing. Besides, if I don't keep it short Tasuki'll lose interest and I'd get you guys in trouble..  
Damn, I'm crying again.. I need to stop already!  
  
I'll go now.. I hope you guys know how much you mean to me. You're my best friends.. my only friends.. I love you all, you're so kind to me, I know no one else would be that way. Some of you I've only known briefly, or haven't had the chance to speak with on a personal level, but that's okay, too. You're still special to me in your own way. You're still my best friends. Ever.  
I've never really had a lot of friends, I was too afraid that they'd.. well, you know, discover what I was.. but now I'm not so afraid of.. of anything.  
I'm not afraid because you showed me not to be. You taught me kindness, and courage, and that true, inner strength that I never knew before.  
  
Guys, it wasn't Tai-Itsukun's powers that made me stronger... it was that inner strength that you showed me, that inner power that showed me what to do.  
  
Arigato gozaimasu... Gomen, and arigato..  
Please don't mourn me.. I don't want you to look back and be sad about my death. Death is just the next step in life, ne? Don't be sad, I'm still here in your hearts. Always look forward. If you look towards the past for too long, opportunity closes its doors impatiently. But if you look towards the future, you will see the golden door of opportunity before it becomes impatient with you. Never look back. I know that I have, and I regret not living my own life, now. But that's okay, if I had lived my own life than I never would've met you, would I have?  
  
Look forward to a brighter tomorrow, and I'll be there for the trip..  
  
Sayanora minna-san  
Nuriko 


	2. Miaka

You Guys Already Know...  
By Ryuuen  
  
A/N: I apologize for any inconsistancies that may be present in this fan-fiction. I don't remember Nuriko ever telling Miaka that he loved her, but I know he told Tamahome, so I'm just going with that. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry.  
BTW, "Akarui Hoshi" means "Bright Star".  
Disclaimer: Don't own FY. However, if you want to give it to me, my b-day's in March.. ^^;;;;  
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Miaka,  
  
How's it going? Okay, so not good, but that's okay, you know?  
I know that you're going to cry when you find this, probably, but I want you to know some things.. things I couldn't bring myself to tell you before this.  
  
It'll be too late by the time you find this. I know this because of the dream I had that told me that I was going to die.. I know that it's true.  
  
What I want to tell you... I love you, Miaka. I didn't say anything because, well.. you're with Tamahome. I love you, but I want you to be happy.. does that make any sense? I told Tamahome about these feelings, and it's okay, but I figured you should know how I feel. You know, since I probably won't have another opportunity to say this.  
You're the first girl that I've loved.. one of the first people that I've loved, period, end of sentance. I know, I know, "but you love Hotohori-sama!".. but I'm not sure. I don't know if I love him like that anymore. I know I love you. And someone else, but I'll tell them personally. But.. you've been unconditionally kind to me. I was a real bitch to you when we first met, and you still treated me like an extremely difficult friend.  
  
I apologize for what happened when we first met.. I apologize for being such a bitch. I'm sorry, Miaka, I'm sorry that I was so stupid. I didn't know what a real friend was until I met you and the gang, I didn't know love, or what it was like to live, even. You taught me to live life to the fullest, and I have. Since I met you, I have. I'm sorry I was so... so bad.  
  
Listen, I'm sorry this had to happen, but don't be sad on account of me, okay? I don't want you to be sad. Like I said, I just want you to be happy. So don't mourn me, 'k? You need to find that Shinzaho, right?  
  
Hey Miaka, do you know what I've been thinking of? I've been thinking that it would be really fun to go to your world. I guess I won't have a chance, but if you'd take the others, I bet they'd really like that. That would be so cool. They'd love that, especially Tasuki. He gets a kick outta new things. He'd have a ball.  
  
I'm sorry that I had to do this to you, but it's not like I have a choice. Just hang on, you'll see me again, promise. Just don't fail, don't die, or I'll never be able to come back. Don't let it happen, please.. the world needs you, Miaka, Hong-Nan needs you, Hotohori-sama needs you..  
  
Don't EVER give up, no matter how much the odds are stacked against you, Miaka, keep going no matter what. You have to get the Shinzaho and save Hong-Nan. I know this is kind of a lot of pressure, but please, if you ever do anything for me.. save Hong-Nan. Save the country. And go back home.  
  
I'm just thankful that you were my friend, even when I didn't deserve it, you were always there with me, I was just too blind to see what a great person you are. I see why Hotohori-sama and Tamahome both love you. I never said I LIKED it, but I see why. Just kidding, Miaka.  
  
Continue onwards, Akarui Hoshi, live on and keep going, for me..  
  
Sayanora  
Nuriko 


	3. Tamahome

You Guys Already Know...  
By Ryuuen  
  
A/N: I'm ba-ack. More angst and sadness. Oi, I'm depressing.  
Note: "Onegai" means "please", "onegai shimasu" can be translated as "I beg you".  
  
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Tama-baby  
  
Hello, Tama-baby. I guess I'm writing this because... because I feel I have to.. to let you all know exactly how I feel. I'll ask you to please tell the others not to let anyone else read their letter- same goes for you, too. I have a letter already addressed to all of you, so read that out loud.  
  
I'm sorry, Tamahome, that we didn't get to bond a little more, to be friends for a little longer. Our first meeting wasn't so great, was it? I apologize, I was so... weird, bitchy, back then. I dunno. I just have to apologize for that. Well, that and using you as a couch anyway.  
I'm also sorry that I tried to break you and Miaka up. I realize now what a mistake that was. What a mistake I made..  
Oh, I am not going to cry AGAIN.. No way.. ah, shimatta.. I'm crying again. K'so.  
  
So I guess by the time you find this it'll be too late, won't it? Well, I can't say I didn't know it would happen.  
  
Tamahome, please, take care of Miaka for me. Don't let her die. I'll never forgive you if any harm comes to her. Take care of her, make sure she is safe and makes it back to her world and never has to look back on this world with sadness, Tamahome. Do that for me. Onegai, onegai shimasu, take care of her. Don't let anything happen to her. She is so good, so kind, it would be so awful to see anything bad happen to her. So don't let it, Tamahome, don't let anything happen to her, okay?  
  
Thank you, though, Tamahome, for dealing with me even after those first incidents. Thank you for being kind to me, and helping me to help myself. You're one of my best friends, you know that?  
  
I had a vision last night, of the Seiryu wolfman Ashitare.. and I died. And so did he. I know that it is true. Well, it is probably true. I'll burn these letters if it does not come true, and you will never know that they were ever written, so if you are reading this now, it means that I am, indeed, no longer living.  
  
I'm sorry it had to go this way, Tama-baby, I really am. I don't want to die and I don't want to leave you guys, but it's not like I was given a choice.  
I just want to thank you for being so kind to me in the short time that I knew you. Too short a time for my own liking, but a time none the less.  
  
Thank you for putting up with me, for accepting me even once you found out who I really was, for being kind to me but not pitying me when I told you my story. Thank you, Tamahome. Arigato, and sayanora.  
  
Sayanora  
Nuriko 


End file.
